traveling to a state i’ve never been to (as an adult) had my nerves in a bunch however, nothing could compare to the pressure of the race itself. this time last year i would have gone into the race totally confident but ever since my fibromyalgia diagnosis, my running has been on a bit of a downward spiral. this race has a very strict cutoff time. if you don’t make that time, you are disqualified. they do offer an early start, but i didn’t think it was necessary for me, now i realize that may have saved me in the end.
as with any other race, i set my clothes out the night before && set tons of alarms to be sure i was up on time! all ready to go, my husband && i set out on the three hour road trip to colebrook, CT! i was super nervous the whole way but very excited since it was my first race since may. after lots of stretching i felt ready to go.
i decided to hang back && try to pace with one of the pacers but i felt that rush of adrenaline && let myself take off way too fast. i actually was able to push my pace for a good six miles before i died out. i think that may have been what got me to finish before the cutoff in the end.
the course was all open road && was absolutely gorgeous! i LOVE running in the fall but running on these CT roads with all the leaves changing was just breath taking! i had great music to listen to && beautiful scenery to look at && that is what got me through to the end. i won’t even lie, i did contemplate quitting a time or two but i am no quitter. i hadn’t realized just how hard it was for me to race. i have been training hard because i have the NYC marathon coming up so i had an idea of my pace. i was able to shave a good 16 minutes off of my training pace which made me proud.
but after all i have been through lately, my fibromyalgia has been in full on flare mode. i am trying my very best to get it under control but we all know that is not easy. going into this race on a high pain day was one of the most difficult things i’ve done on my running journey. all i could do was tell myself to dig deeper && just believe. i pushed until i made it to that finish line. i of course broke down as soon as i crossed && luckily my husband was right there to let me collapse into his arms. i hate to make a scene because the volunteers get so worried but this was literally the hardest race i have EVER ran (except for maybe my marathon).
running with fibromyalgia takes so much will && discipline. i know it is not going to be an easy road ahead. running was never easy for me, it is just something i love && am passionate about. i have two more half marathons this month before i run NYC in november. at least i can relax a little knowing the cutoff time on these races isn’t so strict. i would love to run the hogback half again but i have a goal to run a race in every state so i have to keep venturing further out.
one of the reasons i chose this race is because it benefited an animal rescue. anyone who knows me, knows my love for animals. i hope to one day go back && run that course but for now i have my eyes focused on a bigger prize. the course itself was actually mostly flat && downhill. there was one HUGE hill at the end that i felt really killed me BUT i can say i finished! going into each race now my goal is to finish. i don’t have a time in mind because honestly, with fibromyalgia i just never know what i am going to get. i know the day will come when i will no longer be able to push my body but until then i will continue to run all the races i can && hopefully make it to my dream races along the way! starting with the NYC marathon!!